Many people ask me why I spent almost eight years compiling my mother Dr. Li Qunying’s memoir. There are many reasons, many of which I don’t even understand myself. It may be simpler if I just call it my mission or fate, since my mother is a fatalist. That said, there are a few obvious reasons that come to mind.
This memoir is an unfulfilled wish of my parents. Both of them attempted to write this family story, but they were afraid of political persecution and never realized their dreams. The burden of writing the memoir fell onto my shoulders.
I was born in Shandong Province, China and grew up during the Culture Revolution when many innocent people were branded as the enemies of the state. My first memories began at age five, just at the time when my parents were persecuted. My father was sent to the labor camp (Chinese Gulag) and was driven to the edge of suicide despite his loyalty to the country. My family was exiled to the countryside to “reform thought hard labor.” It was a very traumatic experience for me. So in a way, by writing this book, I am seeking justice (not revenge) and closure.
It was a lot of hard work and frustration. Many parts of my mother’s story were painful for my mother and me to talk about such as the death of my second brother and my father. I was conflicted. On one hand, I strongly believed that the story had to be told. Even today, China has not come to terms with its past, but instead the government is still trying to cover it up. The ghosts from the past have not been consoled. On the other hand I was worried that this would bring back painful memories for my family since we are trying to put it behind us. Luckily I have my family’s support and a mother who is stronger and more resilient than I could have imagined.
I made several trips to China to talk to my mother, taped her stories, translated them into English and compiled them into a memoir. It has incredible historical value: life-and-death stories of 20th-century China, told from the point of view of a woman doctor. Chinese memoirs with such a long time span of some 80 years are extremely rare. And the feedback from the media and readers is great. That makes the eight years of hard work well worth it.
Posted by louishan 